1 Nephi, Chapter 20

1) And now iNephi, do plagiarize from the works of Isaiah.  Hearken, O house of Jacob, who are come forth out of the waters of Judah, which must of a necessity mean baptism, of course, yea, hearken unto me, Isaiah, for verily I have something new to say unto you, which is in fact not new at all.

2) Behold, in a place where we call ourselves the holy city, and stay ourselves upon the God of Israel, or not, depending on whether you trust this work more than the Old Testament, yea, there are many who do wish that we become more transparent.

3) Behold, I declared the former things during the nineteenth century; and they went forth out of the mouth of the prophet, and he did show them suddenly, and his followers subsequently forgot them.

4) And he did it because his former neighbors and fellow money diggers were open, and were going public with the truth, because his brow was low.

5) And I have even since then declared unto thee about the seer stone in the hat, yea, even in a 1974 edition of The Friend did I discuss it, and I did it for fear lest thou shouldst say - I thought it was translated by the Urim and Thummim.

6) Thou hast had the opportunity to research the source documents on thy own, and didst thou not take advantage?  And I have showed thee the truth about the peep stone even in one of the 2013 essays, and thou didst not know about them.

7) They are created now, not from the beginning, but I have come clean now lest thou shouldst say - Behold my church doth keep the truth from me.

8) Yea, and thou heardest not; yea, thou knewest not; yea, for the essays were difficult to find, and I knew they would be treacherous unto the faithful who were not doubting, and who were not actively searching for them like unto the transgressors who are experiencing a faith crisis.

9) Nevertheless, for the sake of not losing any more members will I defer mine anger towards Jeremy Runnels, and Tom Phillips, and MormonThink, and the Exmormon Subreddit.

10) For behold, I shall inoculate the membership while they are young, that they shall not be burned when they shall first discover the truth from these sources.

11) For mine own sake, yea, for the sake of the tithing dollars will I do this, for I will not suffer the church to continue to hemorrhage members like it has heretofore.

12) Hearken unto me, O Mormons, and not unto Google, or unto former members, or any source that is not approved by the church.

13) Mine apologists have laid the foundation for the truth to be spun in a faith-promoting manner.  I call unto them, and they answer, and they do not ask for money.

14) All ye, assemble yourselves, and hear; who hath taught these things unto you? The church. And because ye hear it from the church ye can know that it is true, for all truth is made manifest by the whisperings of the spirit, which doth speak peace unto your soul, except of course when the truth is made manifest by anti-Mormons, which do make you feel conflicted and resentful.

15) Also, saith the Lord; I the Lord, yea, I have spoken; yea, I have called my chosen prophet to declare, I have appointed him, and in him shall my declarations be made known, and thus it is said by him according to my word, and this is what I have said. Amen.

16) Follow the prophet. He hath not spoken in secret, he hath from the beginning been open about the translation method.

17) And thus saith the Lord, the Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I, the Lord thy God, have sent Thomas Monson, and teach him to profit, and to say, let's go shopping! He leadeth the church toward the right investments, even shopping malls and high-rise condominiums.

18) O that thou hadst researched about the seer stone in the hat long ago with the assumption that the church is true no matter what - then had thy peace been as a river, and thy indoctrination as constant as the sea.

19) Thy seed and the offspring of thy colon shall see the pictures of the seer stone, and they shall not be surprised to learn about it from their apostate friends and relatives.

20) Go forth unto lds.org, flee from Reddit, view the images and read about the history, and with a voice of singing declare ye how marvelous it is that thy church is becoming open and transparent.

21) Nevertheless it hath always been open and transparent, for the Book of Mormon did flow out of the rock, and the prophet put the rock into his hat, and the words did magically appear, and there is nothing strange or unusual about any of this.

22) And notwithstanding the church hath done all this, and greater also, there is no peace, saith the Lord, for the wicked do continue to leave in droves, and they do continue to point out the inaccuracies in our artwork, which is still published in our lesson materials.